Walking In A Winter Wonderland....

What we wish winter was like.



Reality.



If you live in the deserts of Arizona, sunny Palm Springs or are reading this blog from the beaches of Florida; Fuck You.

Just kidding.

In all seriousness, this post is about surviving a long walk or bugging into a shelter, in sub-zero temperatures. And when I mean sub-zero, I'm not talking about 0 degrees Fahrenheit. I'm talking about -17 degrees Fahrenheit actual temperature, and -42 with the windchill. I'm talking about REAL cold. The kind of cold shit always seems to go wrong in.

You have a GHB, you have a BOB. What you now need, is a Winter Survival Bag. Why? Because a GHB does you little good, if you freeze to death before you get your fire started or your shelter constructed.

This bag, like your GHB, goes with you EVERYWHERE. It's kept in your trunk, or trunk equivalent. If you're catching a ride to work with a friend, get the bag out of your car and put it in your friends trunk. No exceptions, ever. And please don't forget it there.

A WSB is not cheap. This is not the place where you spare pennies.

My WSB:

Cami tank top (for men, get a tank top undershirt)

2 Long sleeved Underwear top (one your size, and one that is one sized larger)

Windbreaker

Goose down or Carhartt jacket. Accept NO substitutions. SPEND the money for the real thing.

Long john underwear pants (2 pair for ladies/cross dressers, just in case you're wearing a skirt or dress when you go into distress) 

Carhartt Overalls. Again, no substitutions.

Broke in heavy duty winter boots with insoles for extra comfort.

2 ski masks

Kid gloves

Heavy duty insulated gloves

Hand/foot warmers.

(Optional) Dome windproof tent (if living in area with little to no trees)

Pint of hard liquor

4 Granola Bars

Step One:

First of all, go to the bathroom BEFORE you put all this stuff on (don't ask me how I learned THAT lesson.) Second, remember that the trick to staying warm is to dress in lighter layers, protected by a heavy duty top layer; so if it's 20 degrees F out, you may not want to put all of this on. Use discression.

Evaluate your situation. Can you walk home/to reliable help or are you going to need to find shelter? If it's very windy or a blizzard, I recommend bugging into a shelter.

Eat all your granola bars before you set out to walk, or begin to set up a shelter. You're going to burn a lot of calories working, or to stay warm while walking. Chug one of the bottles of water in your GHB. You need to stay hydrated.

Now, many people may disagree with me about the hard liquor, but if used correctly, it can save your life. The human body is capable of surviving long after your mind has convinced you that you can't. Many people who are beyond hope will lay down and die when shelter was just another mile down the road. They don't call booze 'courage in a bottle' for nothing. If you're honestly feeling like you can't go any farther, or work any harder; take a pull. You'll feel warmer and thus, go farther and work longer.

Use the wool socks and beanie from your GHB under the ski masks, and if it's very bitterly cold; put on your surgical mask. It will warm the air before going into your lungs. Try to remember to breath through your nose, it decreases dehydration.

Best of luck, and may the odds be ever in your favor.